The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles


Of the awefull battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles

Together with some account

Of the participation of the Pugs and the Poms

And the intervention of the Great Rumpus Cat

 

The Pekes and the Pollicles everyone knows

Are proud and implacable passionate foes

It is always the same wherever one goes

And the Pugs and the Poms althought most people say

That they do not like fighting yet once in a way

They now and again join into the fray

And they bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark

Until you can hear them all over the Park

 

Now on the occasion of which I shall speak

Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week

And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke

The big Police Dog was away from his beat

I don't know the reason but most people think

He slipped into the Wellington's Arms for a drink

And no one at all was about on the street

When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet

 

They did not advance or exactly retreat

But they glared at each other and scraped their hind feet

And started to bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark

Until you can hear them all over the Park

And they bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark

Until you can hear them all over the Park

 

Now the Peke although people may say what they please

Is no British Dog but a heathen Chinese

And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar

Some came to the window, some came to the door

There were surely a dozen, more likely a score

And together they started to grumble and wheeze

In their huffery-snuffery heathen Chinese

But a terrible din is what Pollicles like

For your Pollicle Dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke

 

There are dogs out of every nation

The Irish, the Welsh and the Dane

The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian

And even from China and Spain

The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian

And the mastiff who walks on a chain

And to those that are frisky and frollical

Let my meaning be perfectly plain

That my name it is Little Tom Pollicle

And you'd better not do it again.

 

And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters

And every dog-jack of them notable fighters

And so they stepped out with their pipers in order

Playing When the Blue Bonnets Come Over the Border

 

Then the Pug and the Poms held no longer aloof

But some from the balcony some from the roof

Join into the din with a

Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark

Until you can hear them all over the Park

Huffery snuffery huffery snuffery

huffery snuffery huffery snuff

Until you can hear them all over the Park

 

Now! When these bold heroes together assembled

The traffic all stopped and the Underground trembled

And some of the neighbours were so much afraid

That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade

When suddenly up from the a small basement flat

Why who should stalk out but the Great Rumpus Cat!

 

His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing

He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing

And when he looked out through the bars of the area

You never saw anything fiercer or hairier

And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning

The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning

He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap

And they every last one of them scattered like sheep

And when the Police Dog returned to his beat

There wasn't a single one left in the street

 

All hail and all power to the Great Rumpus Cat!