Growltiger's Last Stand

 

Growltiger was a bravo cat who travelled on a barge

In fact, he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large

From Gravesend up to Oxford, he pursued his evil aims

Rejoicing in his title of the 'Terror of the Thames'

 

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please

His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees

One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why

And he scowled upon a hostile world

From one forbidding eye

 

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame

At Hammersmith and Putney

People shuddered at his name

They would fortify the hen house, lock up the silly goose

When the rumor ran along the shore

Growltiger's on the loose!

 

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage

Woe to the pampered Pekinese

That faced Growltiger's rage

Woe to the bristly bandicoot that lurks on foreign ships

And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips

 

But most to cats of foreign race

His hatred had been vowed

To cats of foreign name and race, no quarter was allowed

The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear

Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear

 

Now on a peaceful summer night

All nature seemed at play

The tender moon was shining bright

The barge at Molsey lay

All in the balmy moonlight, it lay rocking on the tide

And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side

 

The forepeak of the vessel, Growltiger stood alone

Concentrating my attention on the lady Griddlebone

And my raffish crew were sleeping

In their barrels and their bunks

As the Siamese came creeping

In their sampans and their junks

 

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught, but Griddlebone

And the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone

Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise

But the moonlight shone reflected

From a thousand bright blue eyes

 

And closer still and closer the Sampans circled 'round

And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound

The foe was armed with toasting forks

And cruel carving knives

And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives

 

At this point, the song 'The Ballad of Billy McCaw' or 'In Una Tiepida Notte'.

 

Then Genghis gave the signal

To his fierce Mongolian hordes

Abandoning their sampans

The chinks they swarmed aboard

Abandoning their sampans

Their pullaways, their junks

They battened down the hatches

On the crew within their bunks

 

Then Griddlebone, she gave a screech

For she was badly skeered

I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared

She probably escaped with ease

I'm sure she was not drowned

But a serried ring of flashing steel

Growltiger did surround!

 

The ruthless foe pressed forward in stubborn rank on rank

Growltiger to his vast surprise

Was forced to walk the plank

He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop

At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop

 

There was joy in Wapping

When the news flew through the land

At Maidenhead and Henley

There was dancing on the strand

Rats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria Dock

And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok

 

~^~

 

These modern productions are all very well

But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell

That moment of mystery when I made history...

 

 

Growltiger's Last Stand

 

Oh, how well I remember the old Bull and Bush

Where we used to go down of a Sattaday night

Where, when anything happened, it came with a rush

For the boss, Mr. Clark, he was very polite

 

A very nice house, from basement to garret

A very nice house. Ah, but it was the parret

The parret, the parret named Billy M'Caw

That brought all those folk to the bar

Ah! He was the life of the bar

 

Of a Sataday night, we was all feeling bright

And Lily LaRose, the barmaid that was

She'd say "Billy! Billy M'Caw! Come give us

Come give us a dance on the bar"

And Billy would dance on the bar

And Billy would dance on the bar

 

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear

And emotion would make us all order more beer

Lily, she was a girl what had brains in her head

She wouldn't have nothick, no not that much said

 

If it came to an argument or a dispute

She'd settle it offhand with the toe of her boot

Or as likely as not put her fist through your eye

But when we was happy and just a bit dry

Or when we was thirsty, and just a bit sad

She would rap on the bar with that corkscrew she had

 

And say "Billy! Billy M'Caw!

Come give us a tune on your pastoral flute!"

And Billy'd strike up on his pastoral flute

And Billy'd strike up on his pastoral flute

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear

And emotion would make us all order more beer

 

"Billy! Billy M'Caw!

Come give us a tune on your moley guitar!"

Billy'd strike up on his moley guitar

And Billy'd strike up on his moley guitar

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear

And emotion would make us all order more beer

 

"Billy! Billy M'Caw!

Come give us a tune on your moley guitar!"

Ah! He was the life of the bar

 

 

In Una Tepida Notte

 

Mira! - Mio amore! - Sono qui!

 

In una tiepida notte d'estate, allorché la natura

Era nel pieno fulgore, e la fresca rugiada

Splendeva al chiar di luna sopra la verzura

Si poteva vedere il galeone ancorato

Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato

Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato

In quella tepida notte che c'è dunque di male

Se in tanta poesia anche il pirata diventò sentimentale?

 

Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato

Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato

In quella tiepida notte, in quella tiepida notte

In quella tiepida notte